 
MESSAGE 1
Er, $VERB$ the $NOUN$?  I presume that was just an error in judgement.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 2
Either you are very hungry or very, very sick.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 3
A muffled noise catches your attention.  Peering through the double glass
window past the audience, you see the stage curtain starting to move.  It
rises, revealing the stage area.  You can see light filtering down from
somewhere above, and can barely make out some sort of objects.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 4
The stage curtain once again descends, hiding the stage from your view.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 5
Neither the ACLU nor the SPCA would condone doing that to a $NOUN$.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 6
Your luck has just turned sour.  You stumble over the edge of the orchestra
pit into the percussion section, sending the remains of most of the instruments
and everything you were carrying flying who-knows-where.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 7
Thank you.  Same to you.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 8
You lurch forward over the seats, forgetting the orchestra pit ahead.  You fall
headlong into the bass drum and are thrown back, none the worse for wear, into
the audience one seat from where you started.  Do be more careful next time.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 9
You inch up to the edge of the gap.  A quick check shows that your pulse is
holding steady at its usual 72 beats per minute, so you use this to time the
echo from a fluttering yodel.  Multiplying by the speed of sound in basement
hallways, you easily determine that the gap is only 11.432 feet across and can
be spanned by using the 12 foot plank.  You confidently plant one end of the
plank in the dirt near your feet and let it fall until the other end hits and
wedges into the far side, then proceed South.  You're so clever!
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 10
You inch forward to get a better look at the gap.  Unfortunately, just as you
reach the edge, your old war wound (the stitch in your side from laughing at
the doctors of the 4077th M*A*S*H giving Colonel Potter's horse an enema)
flares back up.  The spasm knocks you off balance and sends you hurtling into
the hole.  As you bounce off one wall and then the other you note with chagrin
that they are less than 12 feet apart and you might have lived to watch more
reruns of M*A*S*H had you found some way to bridge the gap.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 11
Standing at a safe distance, you direct a gentle breeze from the twirling sheet
of paper toward the stack of junk.  An ominous rumble builds until, in a spray
of hardware and plumbing supplies, the plank comes thundering toward you.  You
stumble back till your shoulders bang against the wall.  Just as the tidal wave
reaches your feet, it plays out and the plank comes to rest against your shin.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 12
The crowbar, still chained to the wall, jerks back and clatters to the floor.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 13
BREAK!  Someone say BREAK?  Great, I'll see you in ten minutes.  Bye, bye.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 14
I'm back.  Now, what were you saying?  You wanted to BREAK the $NOUN$?
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 15
You lay the secret on your cute little bald spot, then cover it with the hat.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 16
In an sudden fit of inspiration, you lay the secret on your bare head.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 17
For some obscure reason, you decide to balance the secret on the pointed hat.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 18
When you moved, the secret fell from its precarious perch, and was left behind.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 19
What hat?  From the glare off your bald spot I'd say you weren't wearing one.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 20
She barks out a laugh then hands you a small object saying, "It was a dumb
joke, but take my Pluto, please."  With that she seems to melt away into the
shadows, leaving you with a small statue and the funny feeling that your
grammatical sensibilities have been offended.  (Mine certainly were.)
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 21
A small dog immediately jumps out of the chest and starts scampering about.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 22
The PUN is the lowest form of humor (unless YOU think of it first).  In protest
the packrat jumps out of a hole and replaces the spear with a bucket.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 23
What a CORN BALL thing to do!  What a simple-minded, hair-brained...
Wait a minute, a wisp of vapor is starting to come out of the lamp cord.
Either there's going to be a fire or...  Suddenly, with three small puffs of
smoke a genie appears before you, dressed in what would be the traditional
costume if he weren't wearing it all - even the pointy little shoes -
backwards.  Clearing his throat, he focuses his purple eyes on you and says,
"I'm late for an appointment at the REGEN MOOR, but I'll be     \      /
back later to GET my three wishes."  Try to stay alive till    -->POOF<--
then.  With that, he vanishes in a cloud of very green smoke.   /      \
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 24
Finding a convenient wall outlet, you plug the lamp in and switch it on.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 25
Suddenly, the lamp lurches from side to side as a geyser of smoke and flame
shoots upward, ricochets off the ceiling and back to the floor.  In the midst
of the fire and brimstone a genie appears, franticly slapping out the flames on
the seat of his silk pants.  Killing the last of the embers, he turns his
attention toward you...and to your fingers still grasping the on/off switch,
then to you, then to his pants, then to your fingers...  Then, eyes narrowing
to glowing red slits, he draws up to his full 5 foot 95 inch height to hurl a
mighty thunderbolt.  And that, dear child, is how you became a three-headed,
crab-sucking throat-warbler mangrove, and why the game must be terminated at
this point.  You can no longer use the keyboard with those silly tentacles.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 26
As you enter the room, you notice your old friend, the genie, snoozing in the
corner.  At the sound of your footsteps, he stirs and groggily undergoes three
quick transmutations.  Finally settling on a solid form, he rubs his eyes and
says, "For my first wish, I want something to WEAR."
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 27
With a semi-logical motion, the genie turns the SKATE inside-out, handing you a
medium rare STEAK, saying, "Eat up, then meet me at the CLAWKAT with a TRACE."
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 28
Despite your best intentions, you wolf down the entire steak in only 4-1/3
bites.  Then you notice the fortune cookie that came with it.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 29
Starting across the catwalk, you notice a familiar smell.  Whirling around, you
see the genie splashing CAMEL #5 cologne under his red white and blue arms.
Rebuttoning his shirt, he says, "I've taken a liking to you, so tell you what -
drop what you're doing and bring me something to PLAY for my second wish and
you may live long enough to have the honor of granting my third wish some day."
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 30
Nonchalantly taking the BUGLE, he reaches his arm into the bell and then
yanks.  The instrument seems to twist back into itself and spiral into -
nothing.  Winking his eye, he again vanishes.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 31
You make it half way across the sagging catwalk before you hear the crackling
of the boards splintering beneath you.  You crash down to the ceiling supports
below.  Dazed, you look up just in time to see the massive crate crash down on
you.  It smashes you right through the ceiling structure and splats you into
the theater seats below.  Slowly you roll over and see the crate itself just
breaking through the ceiling and again rocketing toward you.  Once again, it
smashes into you, sending you and two rows of seats through the floor into the
basement.  There you again come to a rest, thankful to some small extent that
this is a solid concrete floor and you won't fall through again.  It is then
that the crate and the two rows of seats land on you.  So THIS is how Wiley E.
Coyote feels.  Unfortunately, YOU aren't a "Toon", so we'll quietly draw the
curtain on you at this point.  (Did Alladin have this much trouble too?)
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 32
You pound and jab at the lid until it finally loosens, then you push it aside.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 33
On a hunch, you return to the DOWN CENTER area of the stage.  As you approach,
there erupt clouds of multi-colored smoke, surrounding, once again, the genie.
This time she looks you straight in the eye and says, "Bring me what I want,
and you'll be home free.  Of, course, it would be too easy if I were to tell
you what I require.  You figure it out."
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 34
Taking the RECLAIM, the genie carefully unfolds it, extending all 7 legs.  She
then starts to do some mystical something or other building slowly from mumbles
and slow waving to violent spins and leaps while singing lengthy passages from
the Form 1040 instructions.  Suddenly, there is complete silence.  You can
almost feel it reverberate off the walls of the empty stage.  Then, the RECLAIM
makes a slight move. Slowly, its skin starts to ripple in concentric circles
building from the outside and moving inward where they gather and start rising.
The pulsing mass starts to become indistinct and luminescent then congeals into
- a MIRACLE!  With that, you hear every door in the building unlock and swing
open and you smell the rush of fresh air.  You are free to go.  You have
survived homonyms, puns, anagrams, non sequitures, misspellings, obscure
references, trivia, useless hints and verbal abuse to overcome STAGEFRIGHT.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 35
You screw the bulb firmly into the socket, forgetting that you have not
disconnected the electric power from the spotlight.  At the first sign of
arcing, you avert your eyes, thus avoiding permanent blindness.  Looking out
the booth window, you see "YOU'RE ALL WET, PAIL-FACE" projected briefly on the
ceiling as the bulb flares into brilliance, then descends back to darkness.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 36
The packrat carefully inspects the $NOUN$ that you offer, then somehow
stuffs it into a tiny crack in the wall.  He darts toward the wall himself,
pausing only long enough to throw a small object back to you, then vanishes.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 37
I think trying to $VERB$ a $NOUN$ is considered a venial sin.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 38
Slipping the knob into the door latch, you give it a quick turn, and the door
obligingly swings wide open, revealing the dressing room to the West.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 39
Aren't you glad you have bomb insurance?  Oh, you don't?  One moment, while I
check the records.  Why yes, you are right, you don't.  Thank you.  We'll just
have to pronounce you dead of "percussive fragmentation", i.e. "You go BOOM."
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 40
Your body is hurled into the air like a rag doll.  You sail off the stage, over
the audience and out into the lobby where you slam into the janitor closet door
knocking it completely off its hinges and shattering it.  Luckily, the
Insurance Policy you were carrying provided just enough cushion for your
landing that you stand up completely unscathed.  (Don't you just love fiction?)
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 41
You open the fire door as far as it will go and firmly wedge the $NOUN$
under it.  You viciously stomp and tramp on it until you are convinced that
even you will never be able to get it back out again.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 42
You climb tentatively to the top of the boiler and reach down into the throat
of the safety valve to tug at something stuck inside.  Suddenly there is a
metallic click and steam no longer hisses out.  As the pounding starts to
build, you jump for the floor just as the boiler thunderously explodes.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 43
That's not playing fair!
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 44
Please rephrase that as "Put the $OBJECT$ under the door".  Thank you.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 45
Way to go, greedy.  Now there's none left for anyone else.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 46
The $OBJECT$ gives a quick glance at the $NOUN$, then tosses it back.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 47
You never can tell what a cat will eat.  Always having been a light eater, Judy
daintily nibbles about 1/2 of the hotdog.   She then jumps into your arms.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 48
With one swift flick of its tongue, the frog (or is it a toad?) grabs and gulps
down the half hotdog.  Then, like a scene from a low budget horror film, the
toad starts shifting shape.  Colors start changing, warts smooth out, hair
starts to grow, then, with one final effort, nothing happens.  Of course!  That
must have a magic hotdog (hey, I just describe 'em - I don't make these things
up, you know), and you fed half of it to the cat.  There wasn't enough left to
do the whole job (whatever it was).  Now you'll have to finish it up yourself.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 49
You suddenly bolt for the roof edge and freedom!  With a graceful Grande Jete',
you succeed, alighting daintily on the street below.  Looking around, you
realize that you are in a dark, featureless void with nothing substantial
beneath your feet.  Realizing that you have just gone outside the programed
area of the game, you meekly climb back to "Room #VAR15# - Theater Roof"
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 50
Forgetting that this is a balcony, you blithely step over the low railing and
plummet headfirst into the seats below, sending your possessions flying.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 51
I could go into graphic detail at this point about what you just did by jumping
into that water with no way to breathe, but that would be redundant since I'm
talking to the one who just experienced it.  Needless to say, you are dead.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 52
Some stud you are!  You wear a bucket so YOU can breathe, but let a poor
defenseless young lady drown right beside you.  Just for that, you lose the
bucket yourself and you can see what it feels like.  Blow bubbles, sucker.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 53
When are you going to learn?  This is a THEATER.  Things you find in a COSTUME
LOFT are only COSTUMES!  The paper mache' scuba tanks dissolve away, leaving
you to play fishy for about two minutes before the game mercifully ends.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 54
You cross easily through the two-inch deep water.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 55
The oil flows out over the surface of the stream.  At first, you see no effect,
then you hear a sound like rocks crumbling somewhere and the water slows and
recedes, leaving only a calm, shallow sheet, inches deep.  You toss away the
empty oilcan.  (So you're littering.  It keeps the inventory neater.)
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 56
You seem to enjoy the feeling of the oil trickling down your knees.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 57
Watch out!  Boy, it's a good thing I warned you in time.  You would have been
sliced in half by that blade as it fell.  I really do apologize.  I was so sure
it was securely nailed in place.  Now you can't get through to the East.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 58
The intense flames in the hallway force you back.  You must find another exit.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 59
The hatch is just too heavy for you.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 60
You carefully place the $NOUN$ in the hollow on the top of the counterweight.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 61
Working together, you are able to $VERB$ the $NOUN$.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 62
Hearing an odd noise as you walk away with the sign, you look back to see that
it had been hung from an electric cord which has just snapped.  The cord flops
around the room, sparking and setting fires everywhere it touches.  Almost
instantly, the entire room is ablaze.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 63
The fire has gotten worse.  It is getting hard to see and breathe!
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 64
The heat is almost unbearable.  You can't take it much longer!
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 65
You watch in fascination as your clothes burst into flame.  In the distance,
you can hear voices singing. "Happy birthday to you.  Happy birthday..."  You
hope they get to the part where they blow out the candles REAL soon.  In the
mean time, the game ends.  If only you'd had some help lifting that hatch.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 66
You dive for the hatch, slamming it behind you, finally safe from the fire.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 67
You try to get at the bolts, but you slip, shattering the box.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 68
As you lean down, the cat swipes at your nose with her paw.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 69
The cat nuzzles your nose and gives you a little kitty-lick.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 70
The toad lets out a belch as your lips approach and you turn away to suppress
your natural reaction to the smell of concentrated toad breath.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 71
You give the quasi-frog a gentle kiss on what would be lips if it had lips.
This re-starts the magic.  A cloud of lacey vapor and glitters surrounds the
animal, then dissipates, revealing a slightly bewildered looking young lady.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 72
Turning suddenly away, your new friend says apologetically, "It's not that I'm
ungrateful for what you've done for me.  Your breath just smells like a toad."
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 73
"Did I ever tell you that Toad breath turns me on?", she purrs as she lays a
kiss on you that can't be described in a game that would be played by someone
of your high moral caliber.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 74
PHEW!  There IS something worse than toad breath!
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 75
The $NOUN$, not being the promiscuous sort, politely declines.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 76
"Not till after marriage," comes the coy reply.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 77
You hear the sound of your breathing echoing inside the bucket as you grope
toward where you remember the stream edge to be.  You misjudge by only 8
inches, but it is enough to send you headlong into the icy water.  With quick
reflexes, you keep the pail on your head until you can pull yourself back to
dry ground.  You find that you did get through to the next section of the hall.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 78
Once again you edge toward the stream, bucket over your face.  This time you
think to peek down at the floor, and manage the trip back with little danger.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 79
In your haste, you forget that the curtain is UP, which means that the counter-
weight is DOWN, leaving nothing to keep you from falling through the hole to
the stage, 80 feet below.  This you accomplish in far less time than it takes
to describe, which means you have now been dead for several seconds.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 80
You slice away at the ropes until, one by one they snap and fall away.  Then,
suddenly you drop the knife and have to chew through the last of the knots.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 81
You attack that poor defenseless $NOUN$ again and I'm calling 9-1-1!
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 82
You deftly pry the window open, then toss the crowbar over the edge of the roof
to destroy the evidence.  (A throw-back to your cat burglar days?)
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 83
You carefully slip through the window and onto the grid.  It only takes you a
few seconds to get used to moving around on the snowshoes.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 84
You enter and step directly BETWEEN the beams of the grid and continue straight
down 80 feet to the stage floor.  Just before you hit, you imagine a panel of
judges off to the side holding up score cards showing 4.5, 5.8, 7.1 and 6.5.
It's a good thing you weren't on the Olympic high dive team.  Then, S-P-L-A-T!
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 85
A few passes with the sharp hacksaw frees the crowbar from the chain.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 86
This is definitely going to be one of THOSE days!  The wall just slid shut
behind you and the other walls are starting to move toward you.  I have a funny
feeling about this.  (No, you do NOT have a com-link available.)
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 87
The walls are now so close, you can reach out and touch both at once.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 88
I hate to disturb your fun, but have you noticed that the walls are now less
than three feet apart?
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 89
The walls are now so close they start to press against your ribs.  I do hope
you think of something brilliant VERY soon.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 90
Looks like I better get the mop.  Maybe you could get a job as wallpaper?
Think it over while I shut this game down.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 91
Oh, that's music to my ears.  No, not your playing - that was AWFUL.  I meant
the sympathetic vibrations set up in the walls by your raucous blats.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 92
I forgot to tell you, whenever the curtain is unbalanced, it overloads the
motor and blows all kinds of fuses and makes these doors stick.  I'm afraid
you won't be able to budge them while anything is sitting on the counterweight.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 93
If you will look carefully, you will note that the $NOUN$ is not present.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 94
The $OBJECT$ sniffs the $NOUN$ very suspiciously, then hands it back.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 95
You manage to pry the doors open, breaking only one fingernail in the process.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 96
This is NOT the Enterprise.  You'll have to open these doors yourself.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 97
As you walk through, the doors slide closed behind you.
END__MESSAGE

MESSAGE 98
What a quaint sense of humor.  For a second there, I was half tempted to honor
your request.  However, I am amused by your antics and wish to see more of
them.  I shall let you go with only a bruised toe.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 99
Why, I thought you didn't even know words like $VERB$, let alone how
to spell them.  I bet you were the life of the party at Sunday school.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 100
What do you know, a REAL magic table!  The $NOUN$ vanishes before your eyes.
You then hear a thump, like something hitting the floor back toward the lobby.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 101
Oh boy, are you in trouble now!  As you swing the heavy chest up onto the
table, you put a small rip in the cloth.  Strange green and orange vapors hiss
out and cling to the chest.  It seems to quiver for a few seconds, then melts
into a sickening black puddle which quickly evaporates leaving all as before.
(Except that you no longer have the chest.)  As your curiosity gets the best of
you, you lean closer to examine the rip, absent-mindedly resting your hand on
the damaged table top.  The acrid fumes again bellow forth, furnishing you the
same fate as the chest.  Not only are you now dead, you smell bad.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 102
What a very clever idea.  Being a magic table, it easily accommodates your
attempts to place it upon itself and vanishes in a schizophrenic ->puff<-
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 103
You start along the mirror with the ring, but halfway, the jewel slips from
it's mounting, causing you to lurch forward toward the weakened surface.  As
you fall through the shower of shattering glass, the last thing that passes
through your head is fresh air (and a few thoughts about Veg-A-Matics).
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 104
You make a series of scratches on the surface with the gem, then you hurl it at
the mirror from the far side of the room, shattering it into more pieces than
you care to count.  It is then that you realize how much diamond looks like
broken glass.  By the time you relocate the gem, you HAVE counted the pieces.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 105
Please spare me that! If you were to scrape the mirror with that $OBJECT$
it would make a noise only slightly more ear-piercing than running fingernails
across a blackboard.  Unfortunately, ears are all that it would pierce.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 106
Trying to cut the window with that $OBJECT$ would only scrape off some dirt.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 107
You take a tentative nibble.  It has an oddly smooth taste and you feel no ill
effects, so you prepare for a second bite.  Then it hits you that all is not
right.  You feel faint, your head is swimming.  You fall down.  You are dying.
As you sink into oblivion, you remember an old ditty from your childhood:
"An apple a day/Keeps the warthogs away,
 But a foot-long hot dog/Will placate a frog."
Wait here a minute, I just remembered something.  Yep, I just checked with
central supply.  That was only a WAX apple.  (Boy, what a hypochondriac!)
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 108
Carefully checking the spit valve, you put lips to mouthpiece and blow.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 109
You wet your lips, throw back your head and blow for all you're worth.  A
shower of cockroaches and spider webs flies out the bell along with a stream of
notes that would make Sousa gasp.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 110
You always fancied yourself another P. D. Q. Bach.  Your fingers fly over the
keys and great waves of ethereal music gush from the pipes.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 111
You do your best, opening and closing the safety valve, fiddling with levers
and valves, but you seem unable to get anything out of the boiler at this time.
Maybe, if you were to find some instructions or even a note about the boiler,
you would know what to do.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 112
You slip the quarter into the slot.  There is a slight click, like some relay
closing.  You look down to the dispensing shelf, but see nothing.  It is then
that you notice that the second panel on the machine has started flashing.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 113
There is a solid metallic thump and a policy falls into view at the bottom of
the machine.  Then, amazingly, your coin falls from the broken coin return.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 114
Your quarter seems to fall straight through from the slot to the broken coin
return and back onto the floor.  The machine must be empty.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 115
Swearing softly under your breath about stupid government regulations, you fold
the sign up and cram it into the coin slot.  Somehow, this prompts the machine
into action and a can of soda falls into view on the small ledge.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 116
Tapping lightly on your arm, your friend says, "I really hate to disturb your
concentration, but I'd appreciate it if we could find something to drink.  I'm
terribly thirsty, and my mouth tastes like I've been eating flies."
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 117
Tugging gently on your arm, your friend says, " I don't think I should have
had all that soda.  I have to go to the bathroom."
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 118
Yanking firmly on your sleeve, your friend stops you in your tracks and says,
"I have to go to the bathroom.  NOW."
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 119
Ripping the sleeve right off your shirt, your friend yells, "If you make me wet
my pants, I'll never speak to you again!  Ouch.  Oh, oh no!"
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 120
Oops.  Too late.  The poor mortified young thing goes running away in disgrace.
You hear footsteps receding into the distance and the muffled echo of a door
slamming.  (How come everyone but you knows how to get out of this place?)  You
sit down where you are (carefully avoiding the puddle) and pine away the rest
of your life over your lost love.  You die of old age several years later.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 121
The girl dances and jogs while she searches in her purse for a key to the
ladies room.  Finally finding it, she bolts into the room.  A few minutes
later, she sedately re-emerges with her makeup and hair back as it should be.
Handing you a reel of recording tape, she says, "I found this in there while I
was looking for...well never mind."
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 122
Obligingly, you hand the can to the girl.  She rears back her head and chug-a-
lugs it in one gulp.  Emitting one frog-like belch, she tosses the empty can
over her shoulder then thanks you sweetly.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 123
Popping the top off the can, you take a sip.  Not bad - for generic soda.  You
take a few more sips then throw the can into a convenient recycling bin.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 124
Licking her dry lips, the girl again reminds you that she is thirsty.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 125
Reeling slightly and wiping her cracked lips, the girl pleads with you to find
something for her to drink.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 126
You jump in after it, but, forgetting your bucket, you drown.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 127
You greedy pig.  There is that poor young thing standing right beside you dying
of thirst, and you gulp down that soda yourself?  I'm leaving.  Good-bye.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 128
You jump in after it, but, forgetting that the water is only inches deep, you
snap several very important cervical vertebrae and die.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 129
With the bucket over your face, you do nothing but bump into walls.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 130
At the sight of the cat-gut strings on the violin, the cat jumps out of your
arms onto a lower shelf, then out the door, knocking a door knob into view.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 131
"I can't even think of things like that while I'm so thirsty."
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 132
"Please, just find me a bathroom.  We can talk about that later."
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 133
"You are kind of nice, but I really don't know how sincere you are, and I'm
really not in the mood for such things right now."
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 134
"I never told anyone before, but hearing the wedding march has always gotten to
me.  But, you've never even given me anything - except that soda, of course."
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 135
"After you made such a sweet gesture with that toy ring, how could I refuse.
Yes, I'll marry you - as soon as we get out of this place.  Besides, we're
apparently the only two people kicking around in this game. If I pass you up,
who knows what computer nerd will play next.  You may kiss the `bride'."
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 136
"Sorry, I don't accept gifts from strangers and I've never met one stranger
than you.  Ha, ha.  Little humor there - very little."
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 137
"How sweet.  Yes, I'd be proud to accept your ring.  Does this MEAN something?"
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 138
You're wasting your time until you put the tape into the recorder.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 139
Just as you part your lips to go for it, she seems to explode before your eyes.
In her place stands something out of a fairy tale.  You figure you either hit
the jackpot, or this is one of those characters that walks around Disneyland.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 140
The tape is in the machine for good, firmly snapped onto the spindles.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 141
Hearing the wedding march, your friend seems to get a little misty eyed.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 142
You again play the music.  (Give up.  It won't say "Paul is dead" backward.)
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 143
As you oil the hinges, you notice a warning label on the oilcan: "EXTRA
STRENGTH PENETRATING OIL - TO BE USED ON WET SURFACES ONLY!"  It is at this
point that massive door falls and flattens you.  Does it smart?
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 144
Congratulations!  You are now at a point that few have reached.  You have
escaped.  HOWEVER, there is much more to this theater than meets the eye, such
as rumors of a chest of jewels brought in years ago to be sewn into costumes
for an extravaganza that never got off the ground.  The chest vanished and may
still be hidden somewhere in the building.  It's yours for the taking.  Of
course, since you've found the coal chute, I'll have to lock it up.  But just
to be fair, I've opened up another exit - wide open.  The only catch is that
you won't be able to leave without the treasure.  Simple, no?  I think the
packrat has something you need.  BREAK A LEG!
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 145
Well, we are the inventive one aren't we?  Since you've unraveled my little
poser of counterweights and curtains, lets get even more devious.  Now ALL
exits are sealed, and it will take a miracle to get out.  You must also perform
a rescue, but I guarantee you that you are the only person in the place (rogues
excluded, of course).  BREAK A LEG!   - PS  I hear the cat.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 146
Not so fast there, let's see your treasure chest.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 147
Pushing through the doors, you step tentatively into the dark room ahead.
Without warning, the world spins and rushes past as you plummet downward.
Clearing your head you look around in time to see a large packrat shuffling off
mumbling something about people with nothing in their pockets to trade.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 148
The Pluto shatters into a spray of plaster dust as it hits the closed lid.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 149
Even with the lid open, dropping the statue causes it to shatter, but the
impact dislodges a piece of paper that you overlooked before.  By the way, that
statue was a Roman GOD, not Mickey Mouse's DOG.  (You dyslexic or anagramatic?)
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 150
You slather (love that word) the makeup on the hinges.  The door soon swings
open, revealing the room beyond.  (Slather, slather, slather)
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 151
There is a deafening roar and the area shakes as if hit by an earthquake.  You
must have triggered an old special effects bomb under the chair.  The explosive
charge has become so unstable with age that the effect blows everything in
range to shreds.  (Don't tell me that was a "CHAIR-Y BOMB"! Har, har, har.)
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 152
Suddenly, the girl starts to shrivel and shrink.  "I'm drying, I'm drying!" she
cries.  Smaller and smaller she goes until all that's left is a small, warty
toad.  Indignantly the toad hops off toward the basement.  You run after it and
turn a corner in the hall just in time to see it dive into the stream.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 153
DOG GONE, It's empty!  (Don't you wish I would make the clues a little easier?)
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 154
You have already opened the crate and pushed the lid aside.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 155
-MENS RESTROOM-
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 156
-WOMENS RESTROOM-
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 157
Some lady you are!  You wear a bucket so YOU can breathe, but let a poor
defenseless young man drown right beside you.  Just for that, you lose the
bucket yourself and you can see what it feels like.  Blow bubbles, sucker.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 158
You give the quasi-frog a gentle kiss on what would be lips if it had lips.
This re-starts the magic.  A cloud of lacey vapor and glitters surrounds the
animal, then dissipates, revealing a slightly bewildered looking young man.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 159
Ignoring everything that you learned as a two year old, you impulsively turn
$VERB$ and walk right into the closed door.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 160
"Did I ever tell you that Toad breath turns me on?", he purrs as he lays a kiss
on you that can't be described in a game that would be played by someone of
your high moral caliber.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 161
The guy dances and jogs while fiddling with the door lock.  Finally, he drops
his male ego just enough to ask for a bobby pin.   Thus armed, he is able to
jimmy the lock and rushes in.  He emerges a few minutes later, acting as if
nothing had happened.  Handing you a reel of recording tape, he says, "I found
this in there while I was looking for...well never mind."
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 162
Obligingly, you hand the can to the guy.  He rears back his head and chug-a-
lugs it in one gulp.  Suppressing a frog-like belch, He crushes and tosses the
empty can over his shoulder then thanks you gallantly.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 163
Licking his dry lips, the guy again reminds you that he is thirsty.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 164
Reeling slightly and wiping his cracked lips, the guy pleads with you to find
something for him to drink.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 165
"You tried so hard to score points with that toy ring, how could I refuse.
Yes, I'll marry you - as soon as we get out of this place.  Besides, we're
apparently the only two people kicking around in this game. If I pass you up,
who knows what computer nerd will play next.  You may kiss the `groom'.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 166
Just as you part your lips to go for it, he seems to explode before your eyes.
In his place stands something out of a fairy tale.  You figure you either hit
the jackpot, or this is one of those characters that walks around Disneyland.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 167
Suddenly, the guy starts to shrivel and shrink.  "I'm drying, I'm drying!" he
cries.  Smaller and smaller he goes until all that's left is a small, warty
toad.  Indignantly the toad hops off toward the basement.  You run after it and
turn a corner in the hall just in time to see it dive into the stream.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 168
As you enter the Gallery, the zookeeper extends a hand in congratulations, but
just before you take it a hideous, bellowing screech from the side room catches
your attention.  You turn just in time to see the plant thrash about wildly,
then wither and rot away, leaving your fiance standing in a pile of dissolving
compost.  The zookeeper turns to you and says, "That ain't one of them hexed
royal frog types is it?  I always suspected the vegetable was allergic to frogs
- ever notice them multi-colored warts all over the pod?" By then, your fiance
has rejoined the group and spends the next half hour describing the social
value of someone who would feed their betrothed to a plant, finishing up with,
"...and you just wait till we're married.  See if YOU live happily ever after!"
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 169
Sorry to disturb you, but you don't seem to have the secret under your hat.
How would you get back in if the secret were to be left on THIS side?
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 170
You cut another link off the chain.  (I can keep this up as long as you can.)
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 171
Try as you might, you cannot dislodge the piece of paper from deep within the
crate.  Slowly and methodically, you start prying and pounding at the sides
until you have finally reduced it to a pile of splintered lumber.  You throw
the scrap wood into a corner and take the paper.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 172
With the window closed, you can find no way to get to the grid area.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 173
For reasons you know best, you have put the dead bulb back in the socket.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 174
CAT:Is nervous about catgut.  SEE ALSO HOTDOG, KNOB, VIOLIN
GENIE:Anagrams your gifts into useful objects.  SEE ALSO BUGLE, LAMP, SKATE
FROG:Feed it then kiss it (yuch).  SEE ALSO HOTDOG, PRINCE, PRINCESS, GUY, GIRL
PROGRAMMER:Decent chap who spent years on this game.  SEE ALSO $5 REGISTRATION
ROGUES:Various.  A poor man's D & D.  SEE ALSO Gratuitous violence
TOTO:An afterthought.  Pay no attention to the little dog behind the curtain.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 175
APPLE:Safe to eat, like the Steak and Cookie. SEE ALSO AVACODO
HOTDOG:Not for you.  SEE ALSO CAT, FROG
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 176
BOOK:Several.  Must be read.  Good for trading.  SEE ALSO PAGE
QUARTER:Buys merchandise.  (Buy policy FIRST.) SEE ALSO DRINK, POLICY, BARBER
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 177
DIAMOND:Can cut a glass object.  SEE ALSO BOX, MIRROR
DRINK:Not for you.  SEE ALSO QUARTER, SIGN, WATER
KNIFE:Cuts rope only.  SEE ALSO ROPE
KNOB:Will fall into view if you scare the cat.  SEE ALSO CAT, DOOR
OILCAN:Oil calms the stream and eats away hinges.  SEE ALSO DOOR, STREAM
POLICY:Insurance against a bomb blast.  SEE ALSO CHAIR, QUARTER, AGENT
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 178
BUGLE:Fun to play.  Makes a good gift.  SEE ALSO GENIE, PIRATE
KEY:Won't be available until late in the game.  SEE ALSO CHEST, DESK
ORGAN:Type "4" (STOP #4 in the clues).
RECORDER:Will play a tape.  SEE ALSO TAPE
TAPE:In the locked bathroom.  Be nice to a friend.  SEE ALSO RECORDER
TRUMPET:You will need it after you get past the mirror.
VIOLIN:Neither you nor the cat get along with it.  SEE ALSO CAT, KNOB
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 179
BUCKET:Useful for navigating under water SEE ALSO STREAM
HAT:Use to keep secret under.  Must be on top of the secret.
MAKEUP:Can grease hinges. SEE ALSO DOOR
RING:Makes a very sweet gift to a friend.  SEE ALSO MIRROR
SCUBA:A blatant FAKE.  Let the Packrat figure out what to do with it.
SECRET:Show it to get through the "secret place".  SEE ALSO ACTOR, ACTRESS
SKATE:A very good gift.  It will be asked for.  SEE ALSO GENIE
SNOWSHOES:Allow you to walk on the grid SEE ALSO JANITOR
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 180
CROWBAR:Opens crates and windows.  SEE ALSO CHAIN, CRATE, WINDOW
HACKSAW:Cuts chain. SEE ALSO BOILER, CHAIN, VALVE
SPEAR:Shake it.  It's a PUN.
BOLT CUTTER:Cuts bolts, naturally.  SEE ALSO DIAMOND, BOX
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 181
CHAIN:Holds crowbar. SEE ALSO CROWBAR, HACKSAW
CHAIR:Sets off explosion.  SEE ALSO POLICY
GAP:Will be a fatal fall.  SEE ALSO PLANK
LAMP:Rub it then go to the Green Room.  SEE ALSO GENIE
SIGN:Needed to get a drink. SEE ALSO DRINK
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 182
BOILER:Might knock out a wall if blown.  SEE ALSO HACKSAW, VALVE, NOTE
DESK:The courtesy desk contains a very important item.  SEE ALSO KEY, RECLAIM
DICTIONARY:Dangerously soggy.  Will fall apart if overused.
DRAWER:In Dressing Table.  SEE ALSO MAKEUP
MIRROR:Cut it with a diamond.  SEE ALSO DIAMOND, RING
VALVE:The safety valve has something in it.  SEE ALSO BOILER, HACKSAW, NOTE
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 183
COAT:Conceals a room.
HATCH:The only escape from fire.  It takes TWO to lift it.
MACHINE:Both take Quarters.  SEE ALSO POLICY, DRINK, SIGN, QUARTER
PEEPHOLE:Examine it to find Tape.
SEAT:Comfy place to sit.  SEE ALSO GUM, NOTE
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 184
SPOTLIGHT:Open it and look at the Socket.  SEE ALSO BULB
STREAM:Will drown without protection.  SEE ALSO BUCKET, OILCAN, SCUBA
WINDOW:Leads to the grid over the stage.  SEE ALSO CROWBAR, SNOWSHOES
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 185
COUNTERWEIGHT:Up when curtain is down.  Can carry things.
ROPE:Holds the chest (CABLE is in elevator shaft).  SEE ALSO KNIFE
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 186
BOX:Contains a useful item.  SEE ALSO DIAMOND, BOLT
CHEST:The real treasure.  SEE ALSO ROPE
CRATE:May have something in it.  SEE ALSO CROWBAR, PLUTO, TABLE
GUM:Must be dissolved to see a note.
PLANK:Will let you get across the Gap.  SEE ALSO GAP, TABLE
RECLAIM:I don't really know what it is.  SEE ALSO DESK
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 187
BOTTLE:Disolves Gum.  SEE ALSO NOTE, SEAT
BULB:Works in a Socket other than the original.  SEE ALSO SPOTLIGHT
BUTTON:The one in the booth operates the curtain.  SEE ALSO COUNTERWEIGHT
DOOR:Some can be opened.  SEE ALSO KNOB, OILCAN, WINDOW, MAKEUP
FORTUNE:In the Cookie - the Treasure is on the grid.
PLUTO:Put in the OPENed crate.  SEE ALSO CRATE, TABLE, SCRIPT
TABLE:The portable one gets you the Plank.  SEE ALSO CRATE, PLANK
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 188
"Now you want to $VERB$ me?  Ha!  One kiss and you'd think I owe you!"
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 189
It has seen better days.  Years of coffee spills have obliterated most of the
printing and completely glued the binding to the desk.  The pages are soggy and
YELLOW and about to fall apart.  They appear to be somewhat out of order.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 190
Having no particular word to look up, you flip pages at random till you see:
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 191
Coffee stains are covering the rest of the pages.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 192
The pages are falling apart as you handle them.  You must wait for them to dry.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 193
The pages are still too soggy to handle.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 194
You start looking for "$OBJECT$", until your attention is drawn to
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 195
Sorry, but it seems that the Dictionary pages were all scattered in the
commotion of SAVING the game.  It may take some time to gather them again.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 196
The chest is too wide to fit.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 197
Upending the bottle, causes the contents to gush out and pour down your leg.
Panicking at feeling your left big toe starting to dissolve, you fling the
bottle away, splintering it against the wall.  You manage to wipe the caustic
liquid from your toe, losing no more than half the nail.  It's a good thing I
keep a spare bottle of that stuff in the Green Room.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 198
Pouring some of the bottle's contents onto the gum, you are amazed to see it
quickly sizzle and boil away, revealing a concealed note.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 199
In your haste, you forget the Orchestra Pit.  You tumble head over heels
through the Glockenspiel and rebound off the timpani to the Stage Apron.
Miraculously, you didn't seriously injure anything but your pride and your
chances of ever joining the musicians' union.  Please be more careful.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 200
A mysterious force hurls you back.  You see a shapeless gray mass ahead.  Then
it dawns on you - that's the stage curtain.  You forgot it was down.  Trying to
lift it does no good.  The seam is weighted with heavy strips of lead.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 201
"That's just NOT my style."
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 202
"I never could play a trumpet."
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 203
"Even YOU should know that you can't wear a $NOUN$."
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 204
"I thought you knew that you can't play a $NOUN$."
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 205
Perhaps it would help saying TO WHOM you wish to $VERB$ the $NOUN$.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 206
The water is flowing so swiftly that you only irrigate your sinuses.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 207
The oily water does not appeal to even your simple palate.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 208
You'd like to $VERB$ the $NOUN$ to What?
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 209
You want to $VERB$ the $NOUN$ with WHAT, pray tell?
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 210
Now let me get this straight, you want to $VERB$ to WHOM?
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 211
The $OBJECT$ being on a strict diet, politely declines the $NOUN$.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 212
You $VERB$ the secret that you've been so carefully keeping under your hat.
There is an almost imperceptible darkening of the small lens in the center of
the wall, and with a soft whoosh, a panel swings open allowing you to pass.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 213
It was hard enough walking in highheel snowshoes, but going down stairs?  You
don't even make the first step before tripping and falling head over heels.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 214
Suddenly, a wispy figure materializes before you in opera cloak and top hat.
Doffing the hat in a sweeping bow, he whispers hoarsely, "Good evening.  I am
the ghost that haunts this theater.  I actually have no part in this game, but
I felt you would be disappointed were I not to put in an appearance or two."
With that he stands up and dissipates before your incredulous eyes.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 215
Suddenly, a wispy figure materializes before you dressed entirely in grey.  It
looks you straight in the eye and whispers hoarsely , "I am your conscience.
Aren't there other things you should be doing instead of wasting time on this
silly game?"  With that it turns and dissipates before your guilt-ridden eyes.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 216
Suddenly, a wispy figure materializes before you dressed entirely in tatters
and rags. He whispers hoarsely, "Kind and just soul, I am the poor author of
this game.  Did you know that $5.00 could feed me and my two starving children
for a week?  And my dog could afford the operation?"  With that he limps away
and dissipates before your generous eyes.  (Nudge, nudge.)
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 217
Sorry about that, I was just fiddling around with one of your RAM chips and I
think I accidently threw a DIP switch.  I'll see if I can fix it...
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 218
OK. Everythink is bAcÉk to nornal no w.  You can co&tinue wièth the Game.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 219
The packrat chuckles to himself, "What a dip stick, giving me the $NOUN$!
You'll be sorry."  He stuffs the $NOUN$ into a pocket in his checkered
vest then darts toward the wall, leaving a small object for you.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 220
Too bad you didn't read the fine print on your BOMB INSURANCE POLICY.  It
expired #CTR6# turns ago.  You have also expired.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 221
"Smells like another toad kisser to me," thinks the poor little dog.
END_COMMAND

MESSAGE 222
Ah, ha!  I know what you're trying to do and it just might not work.
Beware of indiscriminate time travel, you may find you've altered your past.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 223
"Shave and a HAIR CUT, two bits!  I'll need my scissors too," says the barber
rushing off - unfortunately forgetting you shouldn't run with sharp objects.
You hear his chocked scream as you turn and run for the door yourself.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 224
The captain applauds wildly (a BAD mistake for someone with a hook for a left
hand).  You escape as he hops in pain trying to pry his hands back apart.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 225
Droning, "There's no place like home," you fade and vanish.  So does the witch.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 226
"Oh, my gosh.  You blew the boiler!"  He rushes off to repair it, so you exit.
"He'll have a heart attack when he sees that mess," you think as you leave.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 227
"Ah, I must go write a review!" he says putting the pen back into his pocket -
WITHOUT capping it.  You wince as you see the twisted smile cross his face just
before he collapses from the poison injection. You then exit the scene.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 228
"Sheez, I'll need my bifocals to read this stuff", he says as folds up the
policy.  Doing so, he gets a nasty paper cut which gets infected and he dies.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 229
Unable to face the truth, the ham runs off, gets married, moves to the suburbs,
gets fat and has 12 kids.  You put the secret back under your hat and leave.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 230
Not that I don't appreciate your sense of values, but you needed that poor
person to help you win the game.  You should have learned patience.  Now the
plant is starting to nibble on you for dessert.  Bon appetite.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 231
"Why, you dirty double crossing son of a bS-L-U-R-P".  While the plant is
chewing, you sneak quietly out the door. You rat!  (Hee, hee, hee!)
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 232
"The IRS called.  They want to arrange an audit - of the last seven years."
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 233
"This is E.T.  I'm returning your call.  Next time don't call collect."
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 234
"It's your mother.  You're late for supper.  I bet you're out with that theater
crowd again.  You're going to come to a bad end in that theater, mark my word."
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 235
"Watson, come here.  I need you."
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 236
That's odd, nothing but heavy breathing.  Oh, I know who that is.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 237
"Harpo called - he didn't say what it was about."
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 238
You have earned #VAR17# BONUS POINTS out of a possible 22,000
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 239
Excuse me, but your pager is beeping.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 240
However, since you foolishly gave the cable to the packrat #CTR8# turns ago,
you are stuck here and would eventually starve to death.  I will save you.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 241
Remember "?" and "COMMANDS" (or you might look it up in the YELLOW PAGES.)
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 242
AGAIN, G    - REPEAT LAST COMMAND     ºRESTORE     - RESTORE SAVED GAME
BRIEF       - GIVE SHORT ROOM DESCR.  ºSAVE        - SAVE GAME
COMMANDS    - SHOW THIS INFORMATION   ºSCORE       - SHOW SCORE
HELP, H     - HINTS (IF AVAILABLE)    ºSCRIPT      - SEND MESSAGES TO PRINTER
INVENTORY, I- SHOW POSSESSIONS        ºSHOUT       - TOGGLES SOUND ON/OFF
LIST EXITS  - SHOW THE "ROOM'S" EXITS ºUNSCRIPT    - STOP SENDING TO PRINTER
LOOK, L     - DESCRIBE "ROOM"         ºVERBOSE     - GIVE FULL DESCRIPTIONS
QUIT, Q     - END THE GAME            º?           - LIST OF KEY ASSIGNMENTS
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 243
You pass out from the pressure of waiting for the inevitable attack.  You come
to in the main gallery as the zookeeper snorts.  "Must be goin' soft in my old
age.  But watch out for the Avocado, I ain't goin' near it to grab you out!"
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 244
"Kinda sneaky if you ask me, but you ain't got em all yet," snorts the keeper.
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 245
"If you'd get rid of a few of these characters, it'd make my job a lot easier."
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 246
"Well, you going to try a room or ain't you?" says the zookeeper
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 247
The zookeeper looks up and says, "Try a room - one's as bad as the next."
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 248
The zookeeper chuckles, "I ain't dumb enough to go in them rooms."
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 249
"Had a friend went in there once.  Ain't got many friends these days."
END_MESSAGE

MESSAGE 250
"Eight rooms to choose from.  Most actors I know can't count that high."
END_MESSAGE